Every mother has moments when life feels like it couldn’t get any harder. Fear often feeds the mentality that we won’t be able to cope. Yet, even in the nightmarish moments, you’re actually tougher than you think.
Recently, our family went on a trip…
We flew our family of six from Albury to Queensland for a family wedding. It involved tons of packing, two flights each way, lots of expense, lots of energy, and navigating postpartum recovery on top of all that.
The day after we arrived, a couple of the cousins started throwing up. Based on a few factors, it seemed like maybe it was just food poisoning.
Alas.
Fast forward a few days, after an anxious bus ride, since two of our kids get car sick, we arrived at the Church. We thought we’d made it safely!
But as we walked up the steps of the church, my three year old daughter started throwing up.
At first, we thought it was just the usual car sickness.
But then it happened again towards the end of the Mass.
And again and again during the family photos.
When I had imagined this trip, this version was my worst nightmare. For context, I have struggled with emetophobia (fear of vomit) my whole life. (Yes this is a thing!) I’ve done a lot of exposure therapy work on it, and I am lightyears away from where I used to be, but it’s definitely still something that is very triggering for me.
By the time we got back to the accommodation, another of our kids was sick.
That evening, I had to leave the reception early because I was also sick.
And this wasn’t the typical mild bug we’d had before. This was full-on, brutal gastro.
At this point, I was seriously worried about how we were actually going to make it home- because we were due to get a bus and two flights the next morning.
By some miracle of grace, we made it home as planned.
And while it was nowhere near as bad as what it could have been, and we were incredibly blessed with very few incidents on the plane, it was still very stressful and exhausting.
When the adrenaline wore off at home my body shut down in a big way and I was the sickest of anyone (gastro and breastfeeding and travel are not a good mix!).
I wish I could say that I coached myself like a champion and really rose to the occasion in a heroic way… But while there were definitely some ways I was proud of how I showed up, and it was miles better than how I would have handled it three years ago, my old emetophobia habits showed up in a big way.
The biggest lesson from this really:
Whatever my worst nightmares are – I can actually handle them. They will not kill me. I am stronger than them. My God is stronger than any terrible circumstance I can dream up.
The same goes for us all.
“If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will give life to your mortal bodies also through his Spirit which dwells in you.”
I sit with this scripture often. We literally have the same power that raised Jesus from the dead within us. The power of impossible things. The power of overcoming and conquering.
Whatever we think you can’t handle… Actually, we can.
“I can do all things in Him who strengthens me.”
Phil 4:13
Monica Elias is a wife and mother of four young children living in Albury. She is a Catholic Time, Self-Care and Productivity Coach for women who want to master the art of making plans and actually following through. She loves basketball, cycling, kayaking, and books.
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