Ahh Mother’s Day! A delightful day isn’t it!? Perhaps? Perhaps not! We toil 364 days a year and hope that on ‘our special day’ all will be perfect and wonderful.
Maybe we’ve ‘learnt our lesson’ in the past and now ask for ‘only one thing!’
Only for our families to still not quite ‘hit the mark’ on the day.
And so, disappointment, resentment, and sadness creeps in.
Read the personal testimonies of five different mothers who have learned that Mother’s Day doesn’t have to be this way. With a changed disposition of the heart, discover how they took practical measures that helped avoid disappointment on Mother’s Day.
Realistic expectations
“There have been times when I felt disappointed on my special day. I would have high hopes that the day would be filled with complete joy and rest. Then, the minute I hear children bickering, or see the house slowly unravel, my peace would evaporate.
However, one day a friend gave me advice I’d never forget: You’ve got to lower your expectations for the day.
That was it – I was holding unrealistic standards for the day to go ‘just right’. But children don’t stop being children on particular days of the year. The house work doesn’t stand still for a day just because I deserve a rest. Problems will arise, though it doesn’t change the fact that my husband and children cherish me more than anyone else in the world.”
– Stephanie Philippou, Mother of seven.
It’s OK to hope that our Mother’s Day will be special, but even if it doesn’t go as hoped, it doesn’t change the fact that our families truly love us.
Clear communication
“I love gifts, I love flowers, and I love surprises. My husband however is not much of a gift giver and not much of a planner. Being quite the minimalist and also quite the choleric, I must admit, I am not easy to buy for.
Whilst I’ve only had a handful of mother’s days, I’ve learnt that with clear communication and a little encouragement, I can take the pressure off my husband and still have a lovely and special day. I thought about my love languages and what was most meaningful to me, and communicated a simple ‘formula’ to my husband: takeaway coffee + pastry + flowers! On any special day, my husband knows that waking me up to this trio cannot fail! There is still room for him to choose and to give freely; however, this little bit of guidance ensures he does not feel the weight of the world on his shoulders. Thus, there is no pressure or expectation that he must ‘do it all’ on the day.”
– Beck Hanrahan, Mother of three.
Husbands can’t ‘read minds’, as it is often said, so having an open conversation of our simple hopes for the day can help.
Everyone is trying
“It had been a big morning. We arrived at school as an assorted bunch. Some were dressed ready to go; the baby was in pyjamas; the toddler dressed herself (we know what that means)! There was one school aged child who had their pyjamas on and needed to change into their school uniform in the car…
It was a morning of realisation for me. I learned that these little people entrusted to me were truly trying. They were battling to be good, to toe the line, to do what was expected.
Life is hard for kids. There are so many conflicting thoughts and expectations swirling around in their heads. You see, it was my birthday. I knew that my kids wouldn’t behave like this on purpose on my birthday. My heart grew in compassion and love for them. Now properly dressed in school uniform, I received one of the best hugs in the playground that day, and learnt one of the best lessons: the learning never stops..”
– Kate Duckett, Mother of eight.
Even in the midst of stress on a special day, we must believe that our families appreciate us and wish to make us happy.
A prayerful posture
“The Litany of Humility is a sure-fire remedy to an attack of “the uglies” on Mother’s Day.
Know what I mean by “the uglies”? The nag queen comes out. The blame game gets played. The martyr mum moans. The “if only” song gets sung. And vision is blurred by comparison and criticism.
Prayed on the knees, first thing in the morning and last thing at night, your Mother’s Day will be beautified, and your sleep will be sound!”
– Annie Lawrence, Mother of six.
An ‘all about me’ mentality is best combatted by entering the day in prayer and asking God for the grace to be held in peace.
Bless another mother
“A few years ago, I was speaking with the children about Mother’s Day, and I had an inspiration…for the children to organise a High Tea for all the single ladies who had cared for our children over the years, whether this was through babysitting, attending birthday parties, playing games, etc. Each of these ladies, although never having the gift or possibility of a physical motherhood, had been in a certain sense a mother to our children. This was a mutual gift – our children to them, and them for our children.
And so our children created a special invitation, baked lots of goodies, and prepared a chocolate fountain. It was a beautiful way to live Mother’s day and these special ladies in our life were really touched.”
– Soizic Morrissey, Mother of nine
Honouring another mother – be it your own mother, a spiritual mother, or Mother Mary – will not only be a blessing to them, but to you also.
A blessed day
On this Mother’s Day, let us assume a prayerful posture and a loving and compassionate heart. Let’s remember the great privilege it is to be blessed with children and with grace, extend love and blessings to the other physical and spiritual mothers in our lives.
Even when human efforts fail, we can remember that God sees and loves us perfectly. On Mother’s Day – and on every other day of the year – for all eternity!
Wishing you a blessed Mother’s Day.
One Response
Soizic, what a beautiful act of generosity! I love this.