For a mother, the demands and duties are constant, but sometimes the most important thing we can do is slow down and embrace the quiet moments that call us to simply be present.
The exhaustion of frenetic activity
The first time I heard the call for slowing down was a few months ago. I had collapsed into the rocking chair in my youngest’s room after resorting to a contact nap. As much as I wanted to tick some things off my to-do list, he wanted to sleep in my arms. To add to the exhaustion, I was feeling decidedly unwell, which made everything that much harder.
I leaned back in the chair, squeezing my eyes shut in frustration. Thinking about how much there was to do – how much that now wouldn’t get done in the next hour or so – something inside me stilled as I heard myself being told to slow down: accept this time I was being given to hug my baby and just rest. I gave in to the call, enjoyed my brief moment to slow down and carried on with life as normal.
Slowing down
Fast forward a few months and the call to slow down came upon me even more strongly. During a group study on Mary’s virtues we discussed appling that session’s virtue in our life over the next week. I felt a strong and immediate need to slow down.
The timing of this seemed to be somewhat off, though. I was spending my days tearing after my one and three year olds (while trying to keep some semblance of order in the house). I was also about to return to work after maternity leave. And we were experiencing additional demands and stressors with some close family health issues. I was left wondering how I could slow down now when everything around me was so busy.
The to-do list must find its place
I realised that part of the problem was my never-ending to-do list. After my first son was born, I started keeping one on my phone. Over time I became more fanatic about ticking everything off, whilst adding new tasks each day. When life seemed overwhelming, at least I could look back on my list to remind myself what I had accomplished. If a quiet moment came up, my mind would flick across to what else needed to be done; how I could make that moment more productive.
There is no denying that life with children is busy. But at some point I had become a Martha who was consumed with always doing, rather than finding my inner Mary and seeking out moments where I could just be. To just be with the Lord; with my husband; with my boys. The more I thought about it, the more I realised that this constant need to do – to be productive – overwhelmed me. I believed I was even busier than I actually was. With this realisation, the need to slow down just as life sped up suddenly made sense.
At some point I had become a Martha who was consumed with always doing, rather than finding my inner Mary and seeking out moments where I could just be.
Awareness of the times when we can be still
The question was ‘how’? Around this time, I came across a quote from Mother Teresa:
‘Love begins at home, and it is not how much we do…but how much love we put in that action.’
This quote provided the inspiration to start small – to find moments each day when I can just stop and revel in the Lord and the family he has blessed me with.
It might be taking a minute to play peekaboo with my one year old and to delight in his giggles. Or acquiescing to my three year old’s request for me to paint with him – to get a glimpse into his world, as we talk about the colours being used and what we are painting.
Sometimes, it’s asking my husband what made him smile that day (a question he often asks me). Or sometimes it’s using a car trip to sit in silence with the Lord, rather than listening to a podcast.
In finding moments to really be present with the Lord and with my family, I can feel the sense of constant busy-ness starting to lessen and a greater sense of peace developing.
I have to admit, I still keep a running to-do list that I work through daily. There is a time for doing and there is a time for just being. It’s a constant effort to try to find the right balance between the two. While it’s not perfect, I certainly feel there is more equilibrium these days.
Wherever you are in discovering your own balance between doing and being, I invite you to find a few minutes some time in the next day to quieten thoughts of whatever it is you need to do and purely focus on the Lord and the family He has gifted you.
Clare lives in Canberra with her husband, two young sons and a taciturn cat. Born and raised Catholic, she reignited her faith following the birth of her first son. She loves learning practical ways to incorporate faith in her every day life and looks forward to sharing this with her children as they grow older. Clare holds degrees in Law and Drama, and works part time as a government lawyer.
2 Responses
I’m taking the “What made you smile today” idea. Love it! Thank you Clare 🫶🏻