Jesus said, “Let the children come to me.” Yet, we know how hard taking little tots to Mass can be. One mother has discovered a few tricks to make the task of keeping her children in the pews a pleasant experience.
The struggle
Sunday Mass… it’s a beauty, a grace… but attending with young children can often induce anxious thoughts, a bit of stress and a whole lot of ‘what if’ scenarios.
I’ve often heard the phrase ‘If the congregation isn’t crying, then it’s dying’ thrown a lot when it comes to the discussion of young babies and children attending Mass. But that statement doesn’t actually ease the stress that one endures when sitting through an hour-long Mass with rowdy children.
As a mum of two – an almost three year old and a 16 month old – I’ve experienced many disasters when it comes to taking young children to Mass. We have had tantrums, toy throwing, screaming, running away – you name the embarrassing behaviour – and chances are my children have demonstrated it loudly and proudly during our Sunday Mass!
However, over the years, I have slowly worked out a few things that have helped my young family feel at ease with how things may go during Mass.
A welcoming community
When we realised that Mass wasn’t going to be an easy affair with young children, I stressed about finding a parish that was ‘child-friendly’. What we have found, however, is that being consistent in where and when we attended Mass has allowed parish connections to grow organically.
When we first started attending Mass, there really weren’t many other young families attending. However, we would chat with the elderly members of our church and discover they had children and grandchildren of similar ages to us. Through these simple consistent connections, the parishioners started bringing their families to church. Choosing to be brave, we greeted all young families that came through the church doors to welcome them and build a sense of belonging.
We now have so many babies and toddlers attending Mass that any noise a child makes is no longer distinguishable. We have this ‘we are all in this together’ mentally without needing to speak about it. Mums will quietly pass over a crayon and a colouring book to a fractious child, baby wipes are handed out if needed, and younger babies are never short of an extra set of arms to hug them if their parents can’t settle them.
Finding the right Mass time
Prior to having children, my husband and I loved to be flexible about which Mass time we attended. When we had our first baby, we assumed it was something we could continue doing. Oh, how wrong we were! We quickly learned that our darling girl had nap times to follow and didn’t like long car trips.
When we decided to stick with attending Mass at our local church, we tried experimenting with different Mass times. For us, the Saturday vigil worked best. We would attend, then have a family dinner with my in-laws, and our little darlings would arrive back home nourished from both the evening’s Mass and a delicious family feast. This has now been our weekly routine for almost two years.
Creating a Mass pack
Another practical aid that really helps our children at Mass is having an activity bag. Prior to having children, my husband and I both agreed that we would never be the ‘toy-and-snack-bringing’ family; however, again, we quickly learnt that parenting hypothetical children is much easier than the real deal. We now bring a Mass Activity Bag that features items associated with the Mass and our children’s interests. For instance, currently we have:
- Crayons and a colouring book
- Bible stories – mess free – water painting book
- Touch and feel Bible stories (Noah’s Ark and Jonah’s story are the favourites here!)
- Rosary beads (ours are the unbreakable knotted variety, and our toddler loves to play with it throughout Mass (it’s also handy for the parish pre-Mass rosary!)
- Tactile building toys
All in this together
When preparing for the weekend Mass ahead, I often need to remind myself of Matthew 11:28: ‘Come to me, all who are weary and burdened’. I used to feel that my children were a burden to my fellow parishioners, a distraction from Mass and that we were interfering with others’ ability to enjoy and celebrate Mass. However, this verse of scripture helps solidify that whilst I’m in the pits of early years parenting and feel weary and burdened, my children and I are welcome, always.
Mass has gone from an anxiety inducing event to something I genuinely look forward to. Our children now have other children to play with, they recognise many parishioners, and are often invited to take part in small events. I was even able to establish a children’s liturgy program due to the great increase of families that now attend our church. Our priest is constantly praying for us, supporting us, and loves to see how many parents and children call our parish home.
Bethany is a Brisbane local and soon to be mum of three. Bethany discovered her Catholic faith and reignited her love of God when she met her wonderful husband. As an experienced French and English teacher, Bethany has always had a love of the written word and is excited to share her experiences of motherhood, family, and faith. Since becoming a mum, Bethany has developed a strong passion for encouraging young families with their faith.
